Sugar Berry Fever/Transcript

— This is a transcribed copy of Sugar Berry Fever. —

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Previous: "Orangusnake Begins"

Next: "Captured Clops"

Speaker	Dialogue
Farmer Bun	Oh-ho, yeah! No, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Mao Mao	Hmm! Alright, let's see here. Hmm, hmm. Hmm! Got it. And stay out. Ha ha.
Adorabat	Wow, Mao Mao! How'd you do all that?
Mao Mao	Why, with proper training, eating my vegetables, and most importantly, the Hero's Code!
Adorabat	Wow! It's so shiny.
Badgerclops	Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. The Hero's Code is a real book? I thought you were just making it up as you went along.
Mao Mao	It's far more than just a book. The Hero's Code contains generations of knowledge and tradition passed down through the Mao clan. Every great hero of the Mao family has abided strictly by these rules. And there's absolutely nothing that could ever shake my confidence in it.
Farmer Bun	Ha, thank you for saving my farm, sheriff. Here, have some of my prize-winning cobbler.
Mao Mao	Oh, no.
Badgerclops	Move, get out of my way!
Adorabat	Cobbler!
Farmer Bun	Oh, don't be shy, now, sheriff. There's plenty of cobbler to go around here.
Mao Mao	I can't. The Hero's Code forbids cobbler!
Badgerclops	You're seriously gonna refuse cobbler because of some dumb book?
Mao Mao	It's not a dumb book! If the code says a hero doesn't eat cobbler, then I don't eat cobbler, alright?
Badgerclops	Sure you do. Here, let me help you. Come on. Just open your mouth! Open it!
Mao Mao	Quit it!
Badgerclops	Ow!
Adorabat	But, Mao Mao, don't you like cobbler?
Mao Mao	Oh, I want that cobbler, Adorabat. I want that cobbler more than you could ever imagine. If I had that cobbler, I would do things to it that would make my ancestors cry in shame. Oh, but I can't.
Adorabat	Well, I'll just bring some home in case you change your mind.
Mao Mao	Yeah, I won't.
Badgerclops	Has anyone told you, you have issues?
Mao Mao	I really want that cobbler. No! I'll just get some water. Quench my thirst, yeah. Hmm.
Badgerclops	Gonna eat two chalupas. I ain't gonna poop ya. Hey, Mao!
Mao Mao	Uh -- Uh, I'm not Mao Mao. I'm your conscience, yeah! Uh, and you're dreaming.
Badgerclops	Oh, yeah? What's my biggest fear?
Mao Mao	Uh...guh...cr-cr-crushing self-doubt! Whoo!
Badgerclops	No. N-No, no, no-no, no-no-no!
Mao Mao	Ha! Where is it? Where is it?! There we are. Well, it's really just trash at this point. I'm not breaking any rules. Whoa! Wh-What? No!
Cobbler	Mao Mao...
Mao Mao	Oh, boy.
Cobbler	Put me in your mouth.
Mao Mao	What?!
Cobbler	Put me in your mouth. Come on.
Mao Mao	But the code.
Cobbler	Don't worry about the code.
Mao Mao	But I --
Adorabat	Hey, what's going on out there?
Mao Mao	Go back to bed, Adorabat!
Cobbler	Come on, Mao Mao. It'll be our little secret. No one has to know.
Mao Mao	This feels all right.
Great-Great-Aunt Blackbeard	Shame!
Mao Mao	I'm so sorry, Great-Great-Aunt Blackbeard!
Great-Great Maternal Grandfather Twig	Shame!
Mao Mao	I'm sorry Great-Great Maternal Grandfather Twig.
Uncle Jim Jim	Boo on you! Boo!
Mao Mao	Wait, Uncle Jim Jim? When did you become a spirit? Ah!
Badgerclops	No!
Mao Mao	Wh-Wh-What's wrong, Badgerclops?
Badgerclops	It's not there or there. Where is it?! It's gotta be somewhere! Aah! Who would do this?
Adorabat	What's that on your face?
Badgerclops	A clue.
Adorabat	You didn't eat the cobbler, did you, Mao Mao?
Mao Mao	What? No, of course, not. H-Heroes don't eat cobbler, remember? It was probably stolen.
Badgerclops	I'm gonna check the security cameras immediately right now.
Mao Mao	Cameras?
Badgerclops	Hey, Mao, where'd you -- What happened to my surveillance system?!
Mao Mao	Oh, the perp obviously tried to erase the evidence.
Badgerclops	What a sick, degenerate, awful, bad thing to do!
Mao Mao	J-J-Just a hunch, but if the perp broke into our HQ just for old cobbler, h-he'll probably want more.
Badgerclops	Yeah, so do I. It's not a crime.
Mao Mao	And if he wanted more, he'd have to go to the source.
Adorabat	Psh, I know I would.
Badgerclops	Great. We'll come with you. Or go without us. It's okay. I'm emotional right now anyway. Want to go dust for prints, Adorabat?
Mao Mao	What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?
Farmer Bun	Howdy, sheriff. What brings you --
Mao Mao	Bad news, Farmer Bun. We had a break-in at HQ. We think they might be after your cobbler stash. Sorry, I don't know why I'm doing that.
Farmer Bun	Oh, not my cobbler stash! Looks like it's all here to me. Yeah, yeah. Uh, you alright, sheriff?
Mao Mao	Nyum, nyum, nyum! I'm gonna have to taste test this cobbler...for evidence.
Farmer Bun	Uh, hold on there, sheriff. I didn't offer you any.
Mao Mao	Justice is far more important than your profits, Farmer Bun! Ashamed of yourself.
Farmer Bun	No!
Mao Mao	Okay. Step back from the cobbler before I charge you with obstruction of justice.
Farmer Bun	That look in your eyes. Yep. You've got the fever.
Mao Mao	Fever. Last warning, Farmer Bun, before I -- Whoa! Out of my way, Farmer Bun! I'm getting that cobbler. Ooh, double faking.
Farmer Bun	You're not eating any of this cobbler, sheriff. You are out of control --
Mao Mao	Double-jointed, baby!
Farmer Bun	Oh, yeah. That boy's got the fever.
Adorabat	Hey, Badgerclops, couldn't we have used all this flour and powdered sugar to make another cobbler?
Badgerclops	Not a single fingerprint. Whoever did this had to be, like, wearing gloves or something. Huh? It looks like there's an emergency at Farmer Bun's farm. Wait! Mao Mao!
Farmer Bun	Let go of me, you hooligan!
Mao Mao	Why do I still feel guilty about this?
Badgerclops	Freeze! Sheriff's department! Step away from the cobbler, Mao!
Mao Mao	Uh --
Farmer Bun	Stop him!
Badgerclops	Time for those rodeo clown classes to pay off! I tell you what!
Mao Mao	Wh-What is the meaning of this?! Untie me right now!
Badgerclops	No! Not until you explain why you're going around, stealing barn cobbler.
Mao Mao	You wouldn't understand. You -- My family didn't understand, either. Growing up, I loved cobbler.
Young Mao Mao	Cobbler!
Mao Mao	One day I even saved up enough to buy my very own. Brought it home, but my family...Ohh......disapproved. The only way I could become a hero someday was to destroy the very thing I loved. Since that day, I vowed to never eat another cobbler.
Badgerclops	You think...that sob story is gonna get you out of this?!
Farmer Bun	I hate to interrupt this tragic back story, but that monster's in my cobbler again.
Badgerclops	Ah! Again?!
Mao Mao	Untie me, Badgerclops. I can help.
Badgerclops	Sorry, Mao. I can't trust you yet. Come on, Adorabat.
Adorabat	Okay!
Badgerclops	Get your head out of there! Why is he growing?
Farmer Bun	It looks like he's got the fever, too. Aah!
Mao Mao	Y'all, just untie me!
Badgerclops	Run!
Mao Mao	I'm free! Ha! Cease and desist, you beast! Whoa! What the -- Cobbler? No, I-I-I shouldn't. Just one taste. Uh-oh.
Badgerclops	Mao Mao!
Mao Mao	No! Let me out of here! No. Of course cobbler can't be sliced up. It's already mush. Mu-Mushy goodness.
Cobbler	Oh...Now it's just you and me. No way out.
Mao Mao	Out of my way, you tempting illusion! Aah!
Badgerclops	Hey, Mao Mao, who are you talking to in there?
Mao Mao	Uh, no one. There must be something in the code.
Badgerclops	Oh, okay. Well, when you're done, we need your help out here.
Cobbler	It's just the two of us in here. No one will know if you have a little bite.
Mao Mao	But...I'll know!
Cobbler	Well, if you won't eat me...Cobbler will eat you!
Mao Mao	No, no! I can't! Ahh! I won't -- I won't lie to myself anymore.
Cobbler	But it goes against your family's code!
Mao Mao	My family's code -- not mine.
Badgerclops	Adorabat, hold me. I'm scared.
Adorabat & Badgerclops	Mao Mao!
Mao Mao	I did it. I ate all of the cobbler. It felt so right!
Adorabat	What is even happening today?
Badgerclops	He's finally living...his golden truth.
Mao Mao	This -- ha -- is my golden truth form. The power of who I really a--
Mao Clan Ancestors	Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame!
Mao Mao	Oh, put a cobbler in it!
Uncle Jim Jim	That's actually pretty dang good.
Mao Mao	I'm a hero and I eat...cobbler!
Adorabat	That was incredible!
Badgerclops	Dude, can you just do that from now on? I won't have to anything anymore.
Mao Mao	No, Badgerclops. You knew that was concentration of years of repressed desire, but that doesn't matter. I was so caught up in the details of my family's code, I forgot the first rule of being a hero -- Be true to yourself. I think I'll take that cobbler now, Farmer Bun.
Farmer Bun	Sure, go ahead. You've ruined my livelihood. You might as well take what little is left.
Mao Mao	Thank you, friend.
Farmer Bun	I hate you.
[END]