| Speaker
|
Dialogue
|
| Mao Mao
|
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. Hmmmmmmyooooooo...Aaaaaagh! Ha! I finally did it! I sliced a watermelon perfectly in twain. Uh...Rrgh! Still not perfect! Badgerclops! I need, uh...600 more watermelons!
|
| Badgerclops
|
No can do. Penny and Benny bought up the rest of the watermelons for their wedding.
|
| Adorabat
|
Nom!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Wedding? It's a waste of good training food, if you ask me.
|
| Adorabat
|
But, Mao Mao, everyone loves Penny and Benny! They're the most perfectest couple in all of Pure Heart!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Perfect? Look, if -- if I couldn't achieve perfection through years of intense training and relentlessly battling against the Sky Pirates, then how could these two Sweety Pies --
|
| Badgerclops
|
I dunno, but you gotta officiate their wedding. It's one of your sheriff-ly duties, homie.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Hmm. A-ha!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Oh, good, you're getting a head start on writing your speech.
|
| Mao Mao
|
No, I'm gonna prove there's no such thing as a perfect couple once I find my binoculars here. Oh -- Oh, right. Huh.
|
| Badgerclops
|
No, no, please don't do this again.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Nope, that's not it.
|
| Badgerclops
|
Please stop doing this! I will buy you a bag to hold your stuff!
|
| Penny
|
Morning, Benny!
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| Benny
|
Good morning, Penny.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Oh, you're good. You're good. But one of you is hiding a dirty secret, and I'm gonna taste it.
|
| Adorabat
|
I don't know, Mao Mao. They seem pretty perfect to me.
|
| Badgerclops
|
Okay, so, they're a little weird. It's not like one of them is, like, a creep or -- Wait a minute. Where'd they go?
|
| Mao Mao
|
A nondescript sack. Very suspicious.
|
| Pinky
|
I bet he's hiding something real creepy! Ow! No, wait! You're not supposed to follow them!
|
| Benny
|
Hm, a sweaty bush. That's good luck.
|
| Mao Mao
|
That's right. Show us your dirty laundry. Oh! Not literally!
|
| Adorabat
|
He's washing their wedding clothes in the purest waters!
|
| Badgerclops
|
How perfectly selfless.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Rrrrrgh! Alright, so Benny may be perfect after all, but Penny must be hiding something. Badgerclops, engage bush thrusters!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Dude, what?
|
| Mao Mao
|
Just make it work already!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Uh, you are not to yell at me.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Argh! Badgerclops -- unh! -- keep it steady!
|
| Badgerclops
|
If you keep yelling at me, I am gonna turn this bush around.
|
| Adorabat
|
She's getting away!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Oh! You know what?! Forget it! I'll take care of this! Argh!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Dude, wha--
|
| Heroes
|
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Whoa! Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
|
| Kevin
|
I'm a gwown-up. Aaaaaaaaaah!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Badgerclops, do something!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Okay, okay, okay! Now, let's...Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Aaaaah! Unh! Oh.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
|
| Kevin
|
Whoooooooooooooooooooooa!
|
| Mao Mao
|
A-ha! We got you now!
|
| Adorabat
|
Argh! Move, Kevin!
|
| Mao Mao
|
That's right, show us what you're hiding. You filthy, good-for-nothing, tail-wagging...cake? Ohhhhhhhhhh!
|
| Adorabat
|
Eeh! Penny's picking up the cake for their wedding!
|
| Badgerclops
|
How perfectly thoughtful.
|
| Mao Mao
|
I don't understand. Why would both of them go out of their way for the other?
|
| Adorabat
|
Because they love each other very much.
|
| Badgerclops
|
Yeah, why don't you ever buy me a cake or do my laundry?
|
| Mao Mao
|
Don't be ridiculous. You can do that yourself. If I did it for you, it'd be because I care or so-- Ohhhhhhhh.
|
| Badgerclops
|
Yeah, and?
|
| Adorabat
|
Mao Mao? Mao Mao, wakey, wakey!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Nnnnrrrrrrrrrgh! They really are the perfect couple!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Oh, now you think they're perfect.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Don't you get it? If I can slice even one watermelon perfectly in twain, then that is perfection, and Penny and Benny do that every day, metaphorically. If a couple of Sweety Pies could achieve perfection together, then one day, so, too, I could, too!
|
| Kevin
|
Pwease, sir, can you pwease take me home?
|
| Mao Mao
|
No. To the wedddddding!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Owmp!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Ooh! This is the happiest day of my life.
|
| Orangusnake
|
Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 'Tis I, Orangusnake, leader of the sky! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! I was invited.
|
| Penny
|
We paid to fix their broken ship.
|
| Benny
|
For our honeymoon!
|
| Benny & Penny
|
We're getting married!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Sit down.
|
| Badgerclops
|
Hey, Mao, what about this weird bird one?
|
| Boss Hosstrich
|
I say plus-one, boy. Plus-one!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness true perfection -- something that has eluded me so, no matter how many watermelons I cut. Sure, I've gotten close to 95%, 96%, even 98.5%, but never perfect, not like these two.
|
| Benny
|
Nothing could ruin this perfect day.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Only two perfectly sliced melons could achieve this. Sweetest Benny, who traveled so far to wash their clothes in the purest of waters...
|
| Penny
|
But I did the laundry this morning.
|
| Mao Mao
|
...and thoughtful Penny, braving dark alleys to obtain the perfect wedding cake.
|
| Benny
|
You bought a cake? What about the one I made?!
|
| Penny
|
Well, why did you redo the laundry?
|
| Benny
|
You use too much starch.
|
| Penny
|
Well, you don't use enough baking powder!
|
| Benny
|
I don't even know how to bake!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Did anybody else not bring a gift?
|
| Mao Mao
|
No. No, no, no, no. Stop fighting. Stop fighting! You're ruining my perfect day! No! Ohhh! This can't be! Is perfection even possible? Oh! Agh! Oh! No! No, no, no! No! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
|
| Badgerclops
|
I always cry at wedding meltdowns.
|
| Penny
|
Fine! If that's how it's going to be, then I'd rather marry a pirate than be with you.
|
| Orangusnake
|
Wait, what's your credit score? Come, bride of Orangusnake! Let us begin our wedded bliss!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Uh...
|
| Orangusnake
|
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
|
| Mao Mao
|
No, my melons! Come on, Benny, let's go rescue my melon-- I mean Penny.
|
| Benny
|
No.
|
| Mao Mao
|
But you're the perfect couple!
|
| Benny
|
Were the perfect couple. I can't be with someone who doesn't respect my pastries.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Now, you listen to me, you little punk! We're gonna board that ship, save your marriage, and then I'm going to cut the perfect watermelon halves. Yah!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Okay, cool. Yeah, you go on ahead. We'll take care of, uh, this guy.
|
| Boss Hosstrich
|
Uh, my name is Boss Hosstric-- Aah!
|
| Badgerclops
|
Be quiet.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Unhand her, you filthy pirate!
|
| Penny
|
Leave us alone! If I'm marrying somebody today, it might as well be a pirate. At least he's not a liar!
|
| Orangusnake
|
Hear that? We're in love, jerk!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Ha! There's no way you'll make it to the county clerk's office before I defeat you, Orangusnake!
|
| Orangusnake
|
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm the captain of this ship, so bing, bang, boom, we're officially married!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Nooooooooooooooooooo!
|
| Orangusnake
|
Eh, uh...You're not gonna want to see this, sweetie. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
|
| Benny & Penny
|
Hmph!
|
| Orangusnake
|
Argh!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Call it off, Orangusnake! Rgh! Go scam someone else!
|
| Orangusnake
|
No way! This is my meal ticket!
|
| Mao Mao
|
You've never fought like this before! How are you so strong all of a sudden?
|
| Orangusnake
|
Because I'm fighting for my marriage!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Yuh-oh! Fwooh!
|
| Orangusnake
|
Aw.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Ah! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no, no, no, no!
|
| Orangusnake
|
Why would she want him back, anyway? He's a liar!
|
| Benny
|
Aroo?
|
| Penny
|
Mm.
|
| Orangusnake
|
And also, she's a liar.
|
| Penny
|
Yarp!
|
| Benny
|
Hm.
|
| Orangusnake
|
They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?
|
| Benny
|
Hmph.
|
| Penny
|
Hmm.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Guh! She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings!
|
| Benny & Penny
|
Hmm?
|
| Mao Mao
|
And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!
|
| Orangusnake
|
Huh?
|
| Benny
|
Mm-hmm.
|
| Mao Mao
|
So, yeah, they may not be perfect, but at least they try!
|
| Orangusnake
|
My little crown!
|
| Mao Mao
|
And that's what truly matters, isn't it?
|
| Orangusnake
|
They'll...They'll never laaaaaaast! Aaaaaarrrrrrrh!
|
| Mao Mao
|
You're wrong, Orangusnake. They're...perfect for each other! Aaaaaaaah!
|
| Coby
|
Aaaah! No, no, no, no, no, no! My body! My body! Oh, please re-form! Merge! Merge!
|
| Mao Mao
|
Calm down. Just annul this sham marriage already, Orangusnake.
|
| Coby
|
Geez! Alright! Alright! Bing, bang, boom, marriage annulled. Will you get off my ship?
|
| Mao Mao
|
Oh, I'm not done with you yet.
|
| Orangusnake
|
Ahem...As I said before, we're not on a ship, so this is technically nonbinding.
|
| Badgerclops
|
You're doing great, but I will fire this thing.
|
| Orangusnake
|
Bing, bang, boom, you're married. 'Kay?
|
| Badgerclops
|
I always cry at wasted food.
|
| Mao Mao
|
Hey, uh, I'm sorry I ruined your marriage, man.
|
| Orangusnake
|
Eh, not the first time it happened. Won't be the last. Say, what's, uh, your credit score look like?
|
| Mao Mao
|
850. Why? Is that good?
|
| Orangusnake
|
It's perfect.
|
| Mao Mao
|
You know I still gotta kick your butt, right?
|
| Orangusnake
|
Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I know, I know. Curse you, Mao Mao! I'm okay!
|
| Mao Mao
|
And that's why we must always strive for perfection, even if it's impossible to achieve, because...the rewards could last a lifetime.
|
| Adorabat
|
Are you talking to yourself?
|
| Mao Mao
|
Yeah, yeah. It's been a long day.
|
| [END]
|
